eating disorder

Loosing control, gaining happiness

Recovery presents you with so many challenges when you’re not always ready for them, but you are always stronger than you think.

I have been on a university residential trip so have had the challenge, not just of eating in front of other people, but having my meal times, sizes and content dictated by someone else. My eating disorder grew out of a desperate need to hold onto control and even when I’m at a positive place in my recovery journey, I still really struggle with being spontaneous and relaxed around food and mealtimes.

But I have taken this holiday as a positive opportunity to challenge myself. I am reminding myself that every single meal is an opportunity to move forward and not stay stuck. Every time my anxiety starts rising and I feel wrong or disgusting I tell myself that I do not have to deserve things or use positive experiences and tastes as rewards, I am important and I matter. I am important and I matter for no other reason than I am myself.

When you are struggling with the anxiety of your demons and negative thoughts remember the ideal self you want to be. You are the only barrier in the way to reaching your ideal self. You are strong and beautiful and you deserve to be happy and love (or atleast accept for now) your body again. I believe in myself and I believe in you šŸ™‚ xx

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