It was a massive step for me to accept that I had anorexia nervosa and needed to deal with it.
This acceptance was the most positive, but also the most scary, step I’ve taken and, at that time, I really didn’t feel ready to do anything more than accept and try to deal with my own situation. Friends and family suggested going to support groups, talking to other students in school about how I was feeling, researching websites and blogs etc but this all felt too scary, too intrusive. I suppose I just wasn’t ready to see how I was feeling laid out in front of me in black and white as an ‘eating disorder’ or a ‘mental illness’.
Since I started this blog I’ve gradually started widening my circle of attention to resources and information that is out there; and I don’t know why I haven’t done it sooner. I have been reading other people’s stories on websites and blogs, learning about the medical and psychological statistics and finding out about charities that support eating disorders. I thought that opening myself up to the huge amount of information available would make me feel helpless and terrified but, in fact, it made me realise that they way I’m feeling is relatable, common and, dare I say it, even “normal” for someone in my condition.
Of course I must mention that you have to be careful what you look at. If you find yourself on any websites sparking anxiety or negative emotions TURN YOUR LAPTOP OFF straight away. There is a massive spectrum of information and opinions on eating disorders available on the internet and it is up to each of us to decide what we individually can handle. If you don’t find learning more is helpful for you then just stop doing it. This is your recovery journey and you are the only one who knows what will help you battle and grow.
I’ve put links to a few websites I found helpful so please have a look if you every feel like you need that extra little bit of support.
Every warrior is their own person and every sufferer from eating disorders, anxiety or any similar condition will have their individual story. But, if you are feeling strong enough, be brave and connect to other people out there dealing with a similar thing, it might help more than you think. Widen your circle of attention, realise that you are not alone 🙂 xx