My eating disorder has essentially become my ‘superpower’. This idea has been really useful in helping me understand why I feel the way that I do; anorexia has been a way for me to cope, feel strong and convince myself that I was doing something useful when I felt in crisis and out of control. I felt like exercising constantly and restricting my food was a kind of superpower, it made me feel like nothing could touch me and go wrong.
It has made me feel strong and invincible in times of massive stress and unsettling things. But I need to acknowledge that this hasn’t actually saved me, it has ruined me and made me weaker. What I’ve thought of as my superpower is actually my worst enemy.
Sometimes it feels terrifying to give up my superpower but it’s actually okay to let it go. I can survive and cope by myself, without my eating disorder. Its okay to not be a superhero, you are wonderful just being you 🙂 x