eating disorder · recovery

The worth of relaxation

Since the start of my anxiety and anorexia recovery people have been telling me that I don’t have to deserve relaxation, and I think I’m finally starting to believe it.

Anxiety warps your thought patterns and, atleast in my experience, makes you feel like you only deserve to relax and look after yourself if you have done something impressive to deserve it. I have always taken time out to relax and look after myself, but have felt that I have to push myself extremely hard to deserve even a day or two of relaxation.

I’ve started to realised though that this strategy won’t work for recovery. If your relaxation is only ever making up for pushing yourself, then you will always remain at 0 on your recovery scale and never move forward.

I know that if you suffer from anorexia or anxiety then the thought of resting, relaxing, and treating your body with regular food and sleep feels wrong and unnatural. But I promise you that the more you challenge yourself to do this, the easier it will become.

Since I’ve started relaxing this summer I have started feeling calmer, more centered and more stable. I have been able to sleep better, my mind hasn’t been racing as much and I haven’t been so irritable with my friends and family.

I know that to sufferers reading this, relaxation and taking care of yourself is a really scary challenge to take on because you feel like if you start it then you won’t ever be able to go back to being organised, fit and efficient.

I would really encourage anybody to accept this challenge though. If you have got to the point of needing recovery then you need to start being kinder to yourself and your body. I know this is scary, but I can absolutely guarantee you will feel happier, stronger and calmer.

I still have days when I feel the anxiety rising in my chest and it’s really hard to persevere with my recovery but I know that it’s worth it. I am better than any illness and I am going to beat it by committing to taking care of myself.

Relaxation will make you a better version of you, accept it and start getting stronger 🙂 xx

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