Anxiety is an incredibly frustrating mental illness, because it comes on for no reason.
When I was first diagnosed with anxiety over two years ago I was still at the point when it only set in when I had a legitimate reason to feel anxious. If I was stressed at college, if family was ill, if i lost touch with friends etc but I knew that there was a logical reason.
As my anxiety has progressed this is no longer the case though, and it hits me when I’m least expecting it.
I have had the most amazing holiday week with my boyfriend
We’ve been relaxing, seeing friends and laughing together and I’ve been feeling so positive about my anorexia and putting on weight. Unfortunately there are still moments when I get overwhelmed by my anxiety, my heart starts thumping and my mind starts racing: I’m too thin, I’m too fat, I have to keep the conversation going and be interesting, I’m sounding stupid, I’m not sounding intelligent enough, I look stupid etc.
I feel awful at times like this because I know that I am actually incredibly happy, I have amazing friends and family who I love and I have no reason to feel so overwhelmed and unhappy.
The only solution I have found so far is taking a deep breath and telling myself that my anxious feelings of stress, worthlessness and panic won’t last.
Although it’s the hardest thing in the world to overcome because it’s in your own head I am absolutely committed to overcoming it. I will not let my anxiety stop me enjoying the amazing life and relationships I have.
Be brave, battle your anxiety 🙂 xx