eating disorder · recovery

What really matters

My last post was on quiet a negative note so tonight I want to put a much more positive message out there. The truth is that there are times when I really struggle with my anxiety and anorexia, and last time I posted I was having a really stressful moment but there are also moments like now when I am aware of how lucky I actually am.

I am now well into the recovery process and it does feel strange to be putting on the weight and getting back to feeling stronger, but whenever I have anxiety about this and my old anorexic thoughts tell me to go backwards I just try and remind myself what really matters.

Mental illnesses are really hard to battle because, obviously, they get inside your head and make you think that the warped way that you’re seeing the world is the right way. I know that there have been times when I’ve been suffering from this and I’ve been moody or snappy with the people I love, or just haven’t really shown how much I appreciate them.

But now I am starting to recover I feel like I am getting so much more perspective and I know what is truly important to me. I have a wonderful mum who has always supported me, I have a lovely boyfriend who means the world too me and I only feel closer to every day, I am doing a university course that I really enjoy, I’m starting an exciting new job and I have some kind of ambition of going into teaching and helping people in the future even if I don’t really have any idea how I’m going to get there.

There will always be days when your anxiety is overwhelming and anorexia feels like an easy, safe option to retreat into but, in reality, this is only a fake coping mechanism and is taking you further away from the things that really matter to you. I’ve written down a list of all the things I love in my life and that make me happy and I add to it every day when something lovely happens. I look at this whenever I am struggling and it really helps – sometimes when you’re battling your own negative thoughts, the best thing to do is to fight it with your own positive thoughts.

Treasure what really matters to you, appreciate yourself and the people you love in your life 🙂 xx

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