It’s really difficult to continue in recovery when stuff that has caused you problems before comes back.
I’ve been feeling really positive, making progress, feeling better and calmer but it’s really hard to continue doing this when old triggers come back.
It’s always been a struggle for me to put myself first and prioritise my needs and I know that I tend to focus all my energy on trying to look after other people and fix their problems and end up letting myself go downhill.
I think this has always been my automatic mode so it’s really hard to snap out of it, and when old issues and feelings of needing to be in control and take care of people come back it is really difficult to stay in my headspace of positive recovery.
I am trying to not be so hard on myself though and remind myself that even if there are stresses and scary things around me I can still take care of myself. I am really proud of how much progress I’ve made this year and I am going to fight as hard as I can to keep this up.
My gut instinct is to go into protective mode of everyone else and ignore how that makes me feel but I am telling myself that I don’t need to do that. I have always been sensitive to stress and change and family dynamics but I know that these things will always be a part of life and I hope that I am strong enough to deal with them now.
The hardest thing about recovery is forcing yourself into new habits and new patterns, but if you can keep this going when you’re at your most unsettled or stressed then you know you can keep on making progress.
Don’t give up when it gets hard, try and stay positive and just take each day as it comes 🙂 xx